This Post Starts Differently Than it Ends

     Stepping into the world is scary, really scary. Sometimes I take a moment to think about what's coming and I'm terrified, not of the prospect of overcoming challenge but at the idea that I'm doing it alone. For the first time in my life there are no redo's, no make-up assignments, and no starting over. My parents aren't there to tell me that everyone is here for me and frankly even if they did they would be wrong. It's not that anyone is against me, but now no one is really officially with me. All my student benefits vaporized and pretty soon I won't be able to relate to everyone I know pushing through midterms, assignments and exams.
     I guess you could call what I'm about to live an alternative lifestyle, I just call it living. There are struggles, hard work, pain and triumph. It's not really any different from school in that way but there is one major difference- I choose what I study. Learning isn't something you are taught, it's something you're born doing and so whether or not you do it in a school doesn't really matter if your heart is in it. A piece of paper proving that I know what I know would be nice but I can manage without. Instead of presenting a certificate that I became a caffeine fuelled zombie and mindlessly memorized facts just to spit them out at someone with a better certificate I'd rather just learn. Growing, and changing just as life does I'll really prove to people that I know what I know.
     I'm not saying that school is a horrible place and nothing good can come of it. Some people strive in school and it really helps them find themselves and learn the things they can't learn anywhere else. However, I do believe there are many people in post-secondary that are not actually benefiting at all and just struggling along feeling smothered and feeling like a failure. I know I used to.